There's nothing harder than being yourself in this small world of ours.

10/18/2002

I did a small portfolio section, just to showcase some work: http://www.geocities.com/breakinguptheboy/portfolio/index.htm

enjoy.

i did my presentation the other day, it was excellent, in theory but once again, not in execution. i actually got my first F. and i really didnt see it coming. in TYPOGRAPHY. i'll admit it was a shitty job. and i really should ahve done it again like i was planning. but OH FUCKING WELL. I know my type shit so screw that. and my next assignment is going to be on computer and its gonna kick everyone's ASS. i get competitive when i know i can be the best - isn't that what competition is all about? DAMN RIGHT.

went out last night with Christy and Heather, i had fun. we saw "My big fat greek wedding" which everyone was raving about, which kinda ruined it. i still enjoyed it, its jsut no where near as good as i thought. BUT OH FUCKING WELL. I'm really writing off my life here... geez.

maybe i'll phone mel and we can do something FUN FUN FUN today. she's the bestest friend. i love her. she cares way too much about me... she's just that kind of person. If I weren't me, I'd go for her, she really has everything, even that slight bitchiness that every girl should have. I could write pages.

but now i'm hopping into the cleaning machine to get myself all shiny and ready for a day OUT.
maybe we can go to toronto!?!?!?! OH MAYBE!


cya around, u dave addicts.

10/06/2002

hey there. things at school have started to get stressful. time doesnt seem to be on my side and im starting to procrastinate. i'm always putting things off to ahve fun and i'm really hurting because of it later. not that i'm failing. just i fell really bad and im starting to get depressed about not being good at what i want to do.

at least im one of the more creative people in the class. i just cant execute my ideas into hardcore visuals. i lack skills, and i am improving with some minor practice (i really need to get off my butt and start drawing everything i see)

i bought some new markers and some other stuff at the art store. it was my first time in there and i felt so weird. i dunno why. i felt like everyone knew it was my first time in there or sumthing. but i guess im just being too subconciously stupid for my own good.

now that i think of it, execution seems to be a weak point in my life in general. I leave things to the last moment, dont practice at getting better, and totally throw away my free time tot he dogs. im not going to go into the time i wasted today when i had about 10 other more important things i could be doing. i hardly got ANYTHING worth a damn done today at all....... 2 things. and one of them wasnt really all that important anyways... getting new art supplies. the other was working on my presentation for art history. i found a video i can use. its only 40 seconds but its a great intro into my artist. kathe kollwitz. shes so dark and depressing.. i love it.

someone called me dark the other day... it was so strange. i dont think of myself as being a dark person, but i am definetly intrigued but darkness. i perfer dark colours over warm, black over white, shade over sun. i'm very into watching dark movies. i love most of david fincher's stuff. he directed the game, seven, fight club, panic room... all GREAT movies. so maybe i am dark? or maybe it's just my dark side shining through...... ;->