There's nothing harder than being yourself in this small world of ours.


on a happier note - MY COMPUTER FUCKING ROCKS!!!


december's all over, and he's calling me on the phone, but he sounds so cold, he says he loves me so, but how would i ever know, certain words grow old.

-veruca salt, "lonliness is worse"


i just feel like spouting out great hole lyrics tonight. expect more to come

geeks to not have pedigrees
or perfect punk rock resumes
for anorexic magazines
it smells like girl
it smells like girl

she walks over me

hold you close like we both died
my ever pressing suicide
my stupid fuck
my blushing bride
oh tear my heart out
tear my heart out

she walks over me
she walks over me

i shut my mouth with you for a gag
i gotta use the rest of you for a dreg

kitty kitty
please come here
oh don't you touch me
don't you dare
we look the same
we talk the same
we are the same
we are the same

she walks over me
she walks over me

i gotta use the rest of you

nothing fixed
you walk the same
and nothings fixed
you talk the same
you never know what you will get
you never know what you're gonna get

she walks over me
she walks over me
she walks.........

- "She walks on me", Hole


my thoughts have been drifting to re-opening a hole (the band) / Courtney Love related website. Maybe just a courtney site, who knows. there seems to be a lack of really good ones out there, so i wanna try and make one. just a thought. i hope everyone is enjoying the new look of the site, it just needs a bit of continuity to it to actually make it seems like a site.


Just thought i'd let everyone know that i placed my order for my mac this evening. Hopefully, they wont charge me tax and I can save a bundle of money.

I got:

Dual 867mhz G4 PowerPC
512mb RAM
64mb video card
Superdrive (DVD burner)
Harman Kardon Soundsticks (!)
and some blank dvd's to make into cd's for my dvd player (that maybe i'll get for my Bday)

WICKED! i can't wait until it arrives!


here i am at school. another hour break with nothing to do..... fun fun fun! just finished my first class of photoshop 1. it was cool. we did a lot of selection work, easy stuff so far. next class is presentation techniques. that sucks. i'm gonna die i hate it so much. the only thing good about the rest of the day is the fact that i get off at 1pm today. THANK GOD for that.

talk later,



im on one of those no carb diets.. i think. im readig a book called "fat wars" by a guy named brad king and he seems to really know what hes talking about. i just wish everything would be in plan english and a bit easier to understand. so far i understand that having 5 smaller meals instead of 3 big ones is beter for you, that you should eat something every 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 hours. that loading up on refined carbs is really bad for your chances when you want to lose weight, and that exercise is, as always, key to losing weight. i just finished some sit ups. they actually felt good. wow. this exercise thing is fun. i can wait until down the road i start seeing results. I just have to stick with it. i hope its as easy as it is right now. I cant help feeling like i'm doing something wrong or that i'm missing something. I skipped a bunch of the book, thats prolly why. better go back and read thru it.

have a good day.